Boundaries and Limits

Boundaries and Limits:

So many people struggle with creating healthy boundaries with loved ones, family, friends, coworkers, business partners, etc.. What happens is they end up resenting these people so much it effects their health and overall lives. Many end up “playing the game” or “sucking it up”  b/c that’s how they’ve  always been treated and as a result become miserably depressed and anxious. When you are mistreated by someone and I don’t care if it’s your mother, sister, brother, father, cousin, friend, coworker, or spouse you have the right to set limits and boundaries accordingly.  It is never good when someone repeats the pattern of abuse no matter if it is emotional, physical or sexual.  Setting healthy limits and boundaries is necessary when that difficult person in your life continues to be destructive. You may have tried to resolve the problem with them, but they keep on continuing the abuse.  That’s when you know you have to change the dynamic. You may choose to not see that person anymore until they get themselves help and prove they are stable enough to be around. However, those wounds maybe too deep and you may never want that difficult, destructive person to be a part of your life. So you absolutely have the right to KICK THEM TO THE CURB.  Hopefully, over time you can learn to forgive them and send thoughts of peace and loving- kindness from your heart from a distance. My yoga and mindfulness instructor shared a story this past Monday about how he is the oldest of 10 children and he does not see over half his family. He mentioned how toxic they have been in his life and it never felt better to set healthy boundaries with them. He mentioned he has not seen them in years and probably will never see them because they are so destructive in their own lives and also at a time in his life. He doesn’t want that toxicity around his family.  He did mention how he forgives them and does send them love and peace from his heart.  He doesn’t harbor any resentment and wishes them well. He mentioned how he thinks positive thoughts about them and how they do not effect his life negatively as they once did. He feels free of that pain and has moved on in more productive healthy ways. Yes, this can be a difficult thing to do. Just remember, if you have tried to resolve the problem with this person, and they continue to mistreat you, and you feel bad about yourself for being around them, you have the right to set healthy limits and boundaries and put an end to the destructive behavior pattern in your life. 

Namaste

Prayer to My Body

I open my heart to explore the sacred that is inherent within my body. I recognize that my body is the 

temple of my entire being that I am not just this body but the embodied spirit itself. During this practice, my 

intention is to be totally present in my body and in the light of consciousness. When I move in life I move 

with great reverence toward my body. I recognize that it is an opportunity to release any fear of failure or 

success I may have. For this time, I am not bound to be anything or anyone other than fully myself in each 

moment. I make a commitment to myself to engage my attention and awareness in the experience of the 

moment: the union of body, mind and spirit.  

(Psychotherapy, yoga & Expressive Therapy)

Spiritual Progress

"Spiritual progress is like detoxification. Things have to come up in order to be released. Once we've asked to be healed our unhealed places are forced to the surface. Detoxifying allows our system to perform more optimally creating an environment for good health. As we've explored, toxins from our earth, air, water, and food can adversely effect our health and the health of our planet. Let's take responsibility to cleanse ourselves and the planet by making mindful and sustainable choices." Sean Corn Yoga Teacher and Spiritual Activist

What makes a person wake up?

My question is always, "what makes a person wake up?" Living unconsciously can lead to more damage and destruction. Why live like that and put your loved ones through it.  Some people say it's the degree of pain and suffering that keeps a person in denial. Maybe they are too afraid and scared to face it and give up their unhealthy coping mechanisms.  Some say the pain is exactly  what makes a person motivate to heal themselves and live a consciously aware life.

  I personally find it fascinating that people can live in an unconscious state of mind never aware of their unconscious drives or motives. What's the price they  pay for living here? Usually, this leads to more destructive behavior patterns and damage to their lives and the lives of loved ones. Sometimes it's too late and they wake up after devastation has occurred. Or, they may wake up after they have dug a nice big fat hole for themselves, making it more difficult to help themselves.  Living in awareness, yes, maybe challenging and scary however,  at least you know what the truth of the matter is and can help yourself and the circumstances you maybe in.

 It could definitely be life transforming. Which, would be healthier for you, your children, and loved ones. Or, you could continue the cycle of unawareness and ignorance  pretending things are OK when they are NOT. All you're doing is creating the pattern of destruction in your life and watching how this effects the lives of your loved ones. What you don't resolve and heal from in your life does directly affect others. I know what I write may not be either understood or popular. I don't care what you think of it. What I care about is that you do the work to live in your truth and heal from your pain so you effect others more positively. That will directly affect my life and make my job a lot easier.. I see many people who wake up after 6 months, 2 years, 5 years 10 years. It's never too late and at least they are working on it. 

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10 Steps in the Healing Process

10 Steps I use in My Practice to Help Assist Patients in Healing their Mind, Body, and Spirit.

1. Living in the Truth

2. Trust and have Faith in the process

3. Learn Mindfulness Techniques

4. Positive Thinking Strategies/ Affirmations

5. Identify what your needs, wants, and desires are

6. Learn how to communicate your thoughts and feelings effectively to significant others

7.Learn how to use Meditation Techniques and Prayer for deeper healing

8.Eating whole foods and maintaining a balanced diet

9. Physical exercise

10. Yoga (Learn to do gentle yoga exercises not just for physical health but to enhance a feeling of peace, calm, joy, and happiness in the mind)

So much more detail goes into each step which I will not be discussing here. This is a good framework to start from when evaluating your level of health.  Remember that each person is different and some steps will be more challenging for some than others.
~Namaste~

Living in the truth: How our Body, Mind, and Spirit are effected

Living in the truth is a very hard thing to do. Being truthful with yourself and others can be extremely complicated and scary at times. Every cell in our bodies store memories from our past.  These can be good memories and bad ones. When someone is not able to remember a memory or event because it was to traumatizing for them, the cells in our bodies store the information so when the person is in a less stressful time in their life, the information will come back to them in hopes of healing from it. Our bodies are designed to heal itself not just physically, but emotionally too. The truth can be very hard and can hurt, but it is the only thing that can set us free from carrying the burden in our conscience mind. I believe that we have debts to pay from past wrong doing not just from this life but from previous lives lived. Or you could call them lessons. If these lessons are not learned and the debts have not been paid you will continue to work this out in life times to come.  The truth is the only way to free yourself and others from this pain. Hopefully, we have strong enough loved ones in our lives to work through it with us. Being a healthy minded person does NOT mean being perfect. We are all imperfect, full of flaws, and disappointing. The one thing we can do is forgive one another and ourselves. This is so important if we want to lead healthy lives. I believe being healthy is about being forgiving and living in the truth. Forgiveness and living in the truth is paramount because it helps us constantly re evaluate our lives so we can create the necessary changes to stay on a healthy path.
~Namaste~
The divine light in me bows to the divine light in you..
Meaning, I bow to you ~Namaste~

Living in the truth: How our Body, Mind, and Spirit are Affected.

Living in the truth is a very hard thing to do. Being truthful to yourself and others can be extremely complicated and scary at times. Every cell in our bodies store memories from our past.  These can be good memories and bad ones. When someone is not able to remember a memory or event because it was to traumatizing for them, the cells in our bodies store the information so when the person is in a less stressful time in their life, the information will come back to them in hopes of healing from it. Our bodies are designed to heal itself not just physically, but emotionally too. The truth can be very hard and can hurt, but it is the only thing that can set us free from carrying the burden in our conscience mind. I believe that we have debts to pay from past wrong doing not just from this life, but from previous lives lived. Or, you could call them lessons. If these lessons are not learned and the debts have not been payed you will continue to work this out in life times to come.  The truth is the only way to free yourself and others from this pain. Hopefully, we have strong enough loved ones in our lives to work through it with us. Being a healthy minded person does NOT mean being perfect. We are all imperfect, full of flaws, and disappointing. The one thing we can do is forgive one another and ourselves. This is so important if we want to lead healthy lives. I believe being healthy is about being forgiving and living in the truth. Forgiveness and living in the truth is paramount because it helps us constantly re evaluate our lives so we can create the necessary changes to stay on healthy path.
~Namaste~
Dr. Melissa Samartano, Phd, LMHC, RYT

The divine light in me bows to the divine light in you..
Meaning, I bow to you ~Namaste~